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Monday Miles

June 20, 2011

I am fully confounded at what time warped continuum I have been thrown into, but it is race week. In 5 days I will be across the country and running 13.1 miles. I won’t lie and say I am not a little more than mildly freaked out. With my cranky knee and taking this week off running so that said cranky knee would get over itself, the back of my mind is definitely spooked.

Ummm Harlem Hill Aint Got Nuthin On Seattle 1-90 On Ramp!

Ummm Harlem Hill Aint Got Nuthin On Seattle 1-90 On Ramp!

I know this because I have had my one dream of the year. I sleep like a ROCK and while I am sure I dream, I just never remember them. Except the anxiety versions. It was a pretty clear story line for those few moments that the memories of a dream linger.

  • I couldn’t find all the things I needed for my run (why yes I am traveling for this race, only my second race ever).
  • Then I was running late to get the ride to the race (my family is from Spain I function on a Latin clock)
  • For some reason a high-school friend I haven’t seen or spoken to in probably 15 years had a lead role and was shouting at me about how she didn’t want to miss or muss up her first race (projecting a bit much… NEVER).
  • Next up on the anxiety merry-go-round was forgetting things and importantly not being able to find my iPhone (the means of communications to find friends race day, the camera of fun, the music that keeps me moving, and also a true paranoia of mine given that despite over 15 years of cellular phone ownership it is only in the past year that I have ever lost a phone, OF COURSE it was an iPhone… actually I lost 2 within 3 months. Yes I go big. For The Win!).
  • And then for the glory… not starting and subsequently not finishing the race, wait make that not running it nor finding my friends… (does anyone need to have this written out??)

Le sigh.

Cue Mark Bittman's Arch Angel Music Please

Cue Mark Bittman's Arch Angel Music Please

Nope don’t need a psychiatrist to read between the lines on that one. No hidden messages with me… I be a literal one. I might not be freaking out in daily life because last week when my body made noise I listened and ended up taking rest, though I wanted to get one last go at mileage in. I could do this because I had distractions to the tune of house seats to Book of Mormon right after they cleaned house at the Tony Awards (oh god yes it is worth it! I even got the best photo of Mark Bittman in the theater) and the earliest I got home all week was 10:30pm. But my mind was taking care of that all on it’s own for me.

Choosing helps us to create our lives and the only thing I can think for right now is that it seems it is time to switch up my inner dialogue. I wouldn’t talk to anyone else like I am talking to myself right about now, everyone else is positive and believing in me. So… it’s time to sit myself down for a positive talk and convince myself to embrace the positivity. Watch out my inner snark is trying to get her Pollyanna on… this could get entertaining 🙂

This Is What Your Knees Look Like On PT When You Are Paranoid...

This Is What Your Knees Look Like On PT When You Are Paranoid...

Each twinge leaves me wondering… Is that my knee? Will it last? Is this a mind over matter game where my mind has freaked out my knee matter… Only running on it will tell. So I be running. I can test out my spibelt purchase pre-race now 🙂 And as long as all goes without and major pain possibly also on Thursday morning as well. Might not be best for the legs timing-wise… But with anxiety dreams on my mind, this should put a nix on the racing in my hamster brain. I need to remind myself that I can still run. At this point, I think I’ll take a bit more confidence and crossing the finish line over racing wisdom!

<Insert Pep Talk>It’s Game Face time lady. You signed up and did all of this for a reason and without a medical pink slip you are not about to call this one in and let Mr. Fitness Nut get one over on you that you will never live down. Once race day is finished (and I know I will finish. I walked 7 miles Sunday without any annoyance and was in a sweat to the death-tastic Bikram yoga class on Saturday) I can think about how to strengthen and speed up (and please for the love of god loose a pound or two and find my abs!). But now is not the time for that. I don’t want to hold myself back but I am not about to go and run stupid for 13.1. </Finish Pep Talk>

No Listening To Runners World For Me...

No Listening To Runners World For Me...

Goals shift and that is ok. There was a short window post 10K where I was delusional and thought I might be able to zone in on the 2:30 mark. I decided today that there is no more time goals allowed into my head for this race (lalalalalala Runners World Race Prediction Calculator). It is all about finishing. I love the progressions I have seen and my inner-competitive kid wants to watch my times get faster and see my endurance build…  But it is race week and at this stage those things pass on to the next race (Holy schiesse I am talking about and looking into doing this again? What has happened to me?? Who am I???).

This race’s strategy was to get my legs enough oomph to cross the finish line. And despite my anxiety dreams I do believe I will do that on Saturday. Sure I wasn’t twigged by 10K because I had been doing 6 mile runs for a while and have enough 6+ runs under my belt to know I have got that… I only have one double digit run (a 10 miler that was pretty craptastic) under my belt and there are still another 3.1 miles after that to the finish line. But I don’t have to run this all, and if I tackle it bit by bit when I am on the road I know I can get through this (I expect, especially given the elevation chart, to walk for 2-4 minutes at mile 3.5 mile 7.5 and mile 11).

This Is What Your Knees Look Like On Holistic Bengay

This Is What Your Knees Look Like On Holistic Bengay

I have pretty well rested legs at this point. I am working to eat decently this week. There is some serious love/stretching happening between me and my foam roller. I have the acupuncturist’s version of Bengay for my knees (oh yes I am NOW officially old). My stomach of steel can handle a mainline infusion of Vitamin I. And… I can always bargain with myself on race day. For the Mini I thought I would walk at some point, especially when my shins were being noisy at the start. I bargained to get to mile 2 and then surprised myself as my shins shut up and I kept going. So as long as I tackle this in 4-or-so mile increments and can get two runs in this week that are in that range, I know on race day I will make it work and drag my arse across that line one way or another.

What I think I am starting to realise in the running and the training is that so much of this is about my mental state.  Believe you can do it, and you will! And today I am going to cut myself the slack and shut off the noisy parts in my brain to do just that… And if I can’t manage to do that, instead I can think about all the good things in Seattle that I am going to get to eat, see and do once I finish this 🙂

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